you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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