Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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