Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is Oprah even human
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my liver is dry heaving
You are a genius and a whore.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
