Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
