just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
