White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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