3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
