If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
