He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
