After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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