:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
