careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
