hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize