Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
