I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
