I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
