Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
