Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
