Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
