I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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