I wish I could teleport
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
