I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
