a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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