If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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