so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
