I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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