OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
