My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize