for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
