it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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