I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
