You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it because I queefed?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
