So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
