he wants to bone in the snuggie
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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