You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
