we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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