I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
