hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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