god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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