Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
