member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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