So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
