i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
