isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize