hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
