but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
