Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize