I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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