Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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