I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
