Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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