Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
