What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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