I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
