When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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