i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
