Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry my hands just texted you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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